Dear Emmett,

Cliche, I know.

Suck it up, I’m dealing with writers’ block.

Dear Emmett,

Please remember to come back and read this. We both know what your, sorry our, memory is like.

So I’m giving us 5 years. I reckon that’s a pretty decent timeline, regardless of whether or not we achieve any of this, it’ll be an interesting read. I already cringe at the content I wrote one year ago, let alone five. I think five years ago I was still stuck at we’re, were, and where, and now we know what the fucking Oxford comma is. Go us.

Now, on with a few things I want us to be doing.

You best be injecting yourself. We’ve just had our third shot by mummy and, just come on man, you’re 22, and you can’t even stick yourself with a needle full of testosterone. Note to self, never ever, call it “man juice”. Yeah, you think it sounds funny, but come on, what does it really sound like? 

Bare minimum, out of everything we’re going to talk about here, I want you to be sticking a needle in your own arse.

Should really move out as well. If we’re still in this box bedroom at 27 I’m going back down there because, time travel, and I’m going to beat your arse and chuck you out myself. Fuck the time travel laws. Because I’m guessing in the next five years, where we have time travel, there’ll be laws as well, like don’t mess with the past. I reckon that’ll be high up there, otherwise, we’ll get some Brian and Stewie Griffin stuff going on.

But I’m confident we’ll have moved out by 27, so hopefully, no arse beating will be necessary. Hopefully.

Now, I’m not asking for too much when I say figure something out. Stop, for the love of dear fake god, being a generalist. Please. Figure something out that you’re good at, and stick to it. At the moment we’re ok, (and I can’t help but stress how just ok we are) at filming and editing, writing, and we’ve not tried entrepreneurship yet, but I think we could totally dominate that. Give it a try, please and thank you.

Do a short film, and maybe a short novel while you’re at it. Fuck it, get mega creative. Become one of those people who live in a self-built house in the middle of nowhere, who writes on their Mac Book and drinks coffee in the mornings before going for a stroll in the forest.

Carry on eating well, I know it’s only been a couple of weeks right now, but stick to it, and don’t worry about the gym just yet, just work on that heart. Cardiovascular and all that stuff. You can do it.

Travel. I know we all say this, but the way I see it, is we work hard for a couple of years, and then we do a bit of travelling. Something, somewhere, do something. We enjoy travelling, and I think we could do some domestic travel.

But other than all that crap, just do what you do, mainly because I fear we’re starting to run into total cliche, predictable writing if we carry on, and I’m beginning to confuse myself. Anyway, we’re getting better at this shit. We can totally dominate it all. I know we can.

I know we’re going to have top surgery, and I think that’s the only important goal for us to focus on and actually take seriously. We don’t take a lot of things seriously really, only in the moments do we take it seriously. Our medical transition, we know it’s going to happen, everything else, at the moment is just noise, albeit annoying noise, but noise nevertheless.

Everything we want to change, we’re impacting it now.

P.S In five years when we’ve got writers’ block again, we can read this and reply – already planning the inevitable.

Peace out mo’ fo’s.


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