Simply Upsetting

Here is a link to a blog I found.

Feel free to read it if you think I am taking their words out of context.

“I don’t know what it is about the last few years, but it seems that tons of lesbians are refusing the label lesbian and calling themselves anything else—genderqueer, non-binary, transmen, the list goes on.”

The list goes on. It does, it really does. With the evolution of the internet people are being able to come together, realise their similarities and pop a label on it to help others. Pretty amazing if you ask me. And it shows how pretty god damn lucky our generation is to have such an open space where they can help figure themselves out.

I’m only 21 years old, but even when I was a child, being a homosexual was not spoken about. God, I didn’t know what a lesbian was until I was about 16.

“I finally watched a few videos about How I Knew I was FtM tonight, and sure enough, these videos are full of lesbians who are desperately trying not to be lesbians and to be men instead.”

Need I say that gender and sexual orientation are different things?

Is it such a far cry to say “yep, I used to identify as a lesbian but when I didn’t fully understand who I was”?

“Here is a FtM video where she realized she was trans at age 23. (This means that she successfully navigated the world as a female for 23 years…it seems to me it would be entirely possible to continue!”

Successfully? So you know this guy personally then? You know that he had no personal problems growing up? Had no hatred towards his own body?

Wow. Yep, let’s all just sit and suffer. What’s another 60 years anyway hey? Let’s resort back to the old days where people were afraid to admit who they truly were. Brilliant, brilliant idea…

“Well, duh—the reason you aren’t breaking up with your girlfriend is because she’s still your girlfriend. She’s not a boy and you both know it.”

I seriously cannot get over the amount of mis-genders this women throws out during this post. He. He. HE. He identifies as a boy. How would you like it, if someone told you, you wasn’t a lesbian? You was a straight women, you were going through a phase and needed to be “fixed”.

But then I am sure you probably have been told that. We all have, anyone who “comes out” has been told that.

That wasn’t a very nice feeling. Right?

“It seems she wants to take testosterone just to gain permission to wear baggy clothes.”

Yep, you know what, when you go and speak to a gender counsellor this is the only thing they look at to prescribe you testosterone. Hit the nail on the god damn head. Well done to you for doing your research.

I can’t wait to sit down with a gender counsellor and say “Hey, I want to wear baggy clothes. Can you prescribe me testosterone?” and then hear them say “Of course! You poor thing. I’ll get straight on to that for you.”

“I like wearing boxer shorts and I’m the more feminine one in my relationship.”

Gee, how about I now tell you that you’re not a women that you’re a man because you wear boxers?

“You know, I think my partner is more masculine than some of these young dykes who think they must be men.”

This is just incredible.

“If you feel uncomfortable that people identify and treat you as female, you are not alone on that one, either. It turns out that it’s hard to be female in a woman-hating culture, and this is hard for all of us, regardless of our gender presentation.”

Ok, but there are levels to this stuff. There is feeling uncomfortable when you’re walking home alone at night. And there is wanting to not hear people call you “miss, love, ma’am.”

“I just don’t know what to do about all this. I know if I tried reaching out to any of these young women who think they’re men they’d just dismiss me as transphobic. But I don’t hate nor fear them— I care about them. I care about the fact that it’s hard to come out as a lesbian and I wish it wasn’t so hard. Truly, you can get over internalized homophobia, you can wear the clothes you want, you can find a lesbian partner, and you can have a wonderful life. I’ve been an out lesbian for years, I have a loving partner and I’m just living the dream over here. I want the same for all my sisters.”

Just because you don’t fear or hate towards us, doesn’t mean it’s not transphobic.

It’s not that hard to come out as a lesbian now. And I think that’s quite easy to admit. We have amazing women now like Ellen, we have sports plays who openly identify as a lesbian. It’s not all that hard. Yes I will admit that some people do still have trouble because of their surroundings. But still, in comparison to 20 years ago, it’s so much easier.

Coming out as Trans is a whole new level.

Now, the whole language of this piece just really stood out to me as transphobic. It was difficult to read, mainly because this is someone from inside the LGBT community, and they’re giving the T community a lot of harsh words.

Now I do accept that L, G and B are sexual orientations and that T is gender. But that does not give people the right to dismiss us all.

How do you expect society to grow and accept us, if our “own people” are giving us shit?

Anyway, I saw this, and I had to somewhat reply to a lot of what was said, and this is it.

If you read my blog, you’ll know that I am all for being open and I love having discussions and listening to other people’s opinions. And I totally respect the right for this women to call this out, to share her piece, that’s totally cool.

I just disagree with what she says and wanted to counter it.


8 thoughts on “Simply Upsetting

  1. If a woman can be a man, then what do you think a man is?
    You acknowledge that I don’t hate or fear trans people yet you still call me phobic. A phobia is an irrational hatred or fear. I feel no hatred or fear toward lesbians who think they are men. Disagreeing with someone is not a phobia.
    If someone told me I wasn’t really a lesbian, I would laugh in their face. I’ve been with a female partner for 9 years, we file our taxes as a common-law couple, and we are out as lesbians to everyone we know. For someone to claim that any of these facts were not true would be simply delusional.
    I call lesbians lesbians, I won’t call them men because they aren’t. I live in material reality, not in transgender ideology. The facts of human biology are real — and when two females of our species are in a romantic relationship, we call that homosexuality–homo means same sex.
    As for the boxers comment, I challenge you to find any reason why people believe they need to transition besides a strongly held belief in sex stereotypes. I’ve been reading about transgenderism for years and there has been no other reason presented. Women really are transitioning so they can adopt the appearance that only men are allowed to have in our sexist society.


    1. Ok, so under your logic, I can be racist and not scared of people of a different race? Correct? I’m sorry but that is so incrediblely incorrect. I (unfortunatley) know a lot of racist people who are not scared of people of a different colour. Doesn’t mean they’re any less racist.

      “If someone told me I wasn’t really a lesbian, I would laugh in their face. I’ve been with a female partner for 9 years, we file our taxes as a common-law couple, and we are out as lesbians to everyone we know. For someone to claim that any of these facts were not true would be simply delusional.” You have literally just said what I am trying to get at. I KNOW I AM TRANS, I KNOW I WAS BORN IN A FEMALE BODY WITH A MALE MIND.

      I do not live in a transgender ideology. I’d argue that a lot of transgender folk don’t and that unfortunately we live in a sad reality with people like yourself putting us down and making the struggle something more.

      My god, I am transitioning because I want my body to reflect who I am on the inside. I want to be respected as a man. I don’t want to be mis gendered. That feeling, when someone calls me miss, that kills me a little bit inside. You will never understand that. I am not transitioning to fit into a sex sterotype. I am transitioning so that when I look in the mirror I don’t want to destroy my body. So that I don’t want to cut. So that I can feel comfortable.

      I challenge you to find someone who is soley transitioning to fit into the “male sterotype” Seriously, the ammount of FTM who transition, they have testosterone and top sergery and still get told they are not “male” enough.

      We’re never going to agree on this, I think you have quite an extreme view of feminism.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Hello Emmett. Racists do feel hatred for minority races, and no, I do not feel hatred for trans people. There is no such thing as a “male mind.” The fact that you think someone’s mind can be “male” despite being in a female body means that you are buying into sex stereotypes. Just because you like things that are labeled masculine by our sexist society doesn’t mean you can’t be female. Females can have any sort of personality. You don’t have to physically change your body to express your personality.


      2. We’re never going to agree on this are we? Haha! But I can say I do see where your comments are coming from. I understand this part of your logic. But yep, we’re never going to agree. But it was nice to have a bit of a debate about it.


  2. There is a whole movement (RadFems) dedicated to trying to convince people who were assigned female at birth to accept their inherent femaleness (even if they don’t feel inherently female at all). RadFems also refuse to accept that trans women are women and insist that they are men who are out to destroy the women’s movement.
    It is pointless to argue with them because they are gender fundamentalists. It is like arguing with people who believe in creationism (the world was created in 7 days), and who refuse to accept Darwinism.
    They want to “save” you from being trans, but the fact is, if you are trans, you are trans. Find a way to be your authentic self, and take care.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow, I didn’t know about that. But in relation to that post it makes a lot of sense. Yep, a bit like scientologists. No there isn’t much point, which I have now learnt.

      Liked by 1 person

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