I am proud with myself.
2015 was a year.
(Yep, we know that Emmett…)
But it was an amazing year. Which is kind of odd for me to say if you actually know me.
And if you do know me, hey hi hello there, thanks for popping by, make sure you tell me you read this when I see you next. Mint. Bye.
So 2015, an amazing year. What’s another word for amazing? I need a new word…
I went to Amsterdam. And I didn’t visit any cafes. What on earth am I? And I smoked at the time. But I went and to be honest it was pretty damn incredible. I loved being there so much I went again after that.
I came back from Amsterdam and started my Marketing Diploma.
I got a real car. Like brand new. No more second hand Ford Ka. I got a Citroen DS3 with a lovely monthly direct debit… Totally do not regret that…
I had a break down, yep a break down, a real life one. And the nice doctors put me on a little tablet to take in the mornings and make me feel better…
I started heavily smoking weed. You will never guess what happened next.
I had a psychotic episode and got admitted to a mental health unit. I wasn’t going to be admitted. But then I may have slightly freaked out when they told me they were going to get social services involved as I lived with children (my brothers – thankfully)
I stayed in hospital for five weeks. Yep.
Found out I had slight BPD.
I made hospital friends.
I got out.
I quit my Marketing Diploma.
I worked my arse off and got a raise.
I met my first girlfriend… ever.
I moved into my friend’s house for a week or two when I had a massive argument with my mum, then my girlfriend broke up with me.
I spent a bit of time in a not so great place.
Started seeing a counsellor.
I went onto Twitter and found out that women could transition to men.
Guess what happened next?
I realised I was transgender.
Went to Amsterdam again for my 21st with my closest friend. This time I did go into the cafes…
I turned 21 and got a birthday stripper from my pub family.
I bought my first binder.
I came out to my mum.
See, what a year?
And now I’m fully and totally better, I don’t have to see my counsellor any more. I have started my physical transition. It’s just been so incredible.
I have never been the type of person to give myself praise. Like at all. But I am so over the moon proud of myself for getting through last year. For still being alive, for accepting myself, for simply finding myself.
It’s truly been amazing.
And I am so positive for 2016.